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Sammamish mom fights to prevent teen suicide

After a mom lost her teen son to suicide, she decided to live out his mission in order to help others.
PHOTO: Stacie McLauchlan

When Stacie McLauchlan gave birth to her son Ian, she says she just knew her family was complete.

"He was the coolest kid from a very early age," said McLauchlan. "He was funny, and he was a prankster. He was a class clown."

Ian was a popular kid -- one who got reassurance from big sis Bella and all of her friends. He was the kid who led outdoor adventures for this family and friends. He took countless pictures from remote locations around Puget Sound, and he always seemed to be joking around.

So, his loved ones were in utter shock when Ian died by suicide at the age of 14. The date was May 8, 2017.

"There was never a warning," said McLauchlan. "There was nothing that ever indicated that there was something wrong, but the outcome is clearly something was."

Ian had spent the weekend at his dad's house before sneaking out without a trace. His dad noticed he disappeared when he tried to get Ian up for school that following Monday. Details of Ian's death aren't publicly shared by his family, but McLauchlan will tell you Ian died from a fall.

"I just wish he knew that we would have fought for him," cried McLauchlan. "I think that's the thing that gets to me the most is that I would just want two seconds back to push him to safety, like not just to be his mom, but just to be like a gust of wind or something to just push him away from the edge and kind of just snap him out of it.'

Ian's death left a lot of teens at school wondering how a bright, energetic young man could have been in such trouble. His sister Bella, now a senior at Eastlake High School in Sammamish, found herself coping with the loss of her best friend.

"It's actually been really hard for me at school because I feel like I've matured a lot more than a lot of my friends have," said Bella. "It's hard to feel normal when you've gone through such a big tragedy."

Ian left a suicide note detailing the items he wanted to leave behind. He gave his sister all of his belongings, including the camera he loved carrying with him on adventures. She now often takes pictures and has even discovered she has a natural eye for photography.

Ian also asked his family one thing: live like every moment mattered.

"[His note] was full of love, and his last message to us was to live hard," said McLauchlan.

Now there is a Live Hard movement.

"There's a lot of kids doing a lot of projects, and blogging or artwork related to Ian and his passionate plea to live hard," said McLauchlan.

A number of students are now working on a YouTube series focusing on adventures students have lived in the past year. Bella has worked with her friends at Hot Spark Media, a student-run production company that has put out a number of videos honoring Ian's life. It features gatherings centered around Ian, hikes, swimming and more.

"What we did as a group in the Live Hard series is made sure those kids knew they weren't alone in what they were feeling," said Bella.

It's important to Bella that her peers try to articulate what may be bothering them, especially since Ian could not do that for himself.

"There were a lot of things that were going on and a lot of things that we don't even understand," said Bellla. "I'm OK with not knowing because his legacy has been so important to us and the community."

McLauchlan says she does not know where the Live Hard Movement will go, but she envisions it raising money to provide help to those who struggle with mental illness, depression and suicidal thoughts. She's already reached out to non profits for potential collaboration.

"There's a lot of shame around suicide," said McLauchlan. "I mean, I have shame around it. There are days when I'm like, 'I don't want people to know that my son died by suicide.' If we don't talk about, if we don't open up the conversation, its not going to help anybody. Ian's death has to mean something. It has to stand for something."

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