SEATTLE — Having "the talk" or explaining "the birds and the bees" with your child can sometimes be uncomfortable or just plain awkward, but sexual health educator Amy Lang, MA, helps parents of all beliefs talk with their kids about sex in a healthy, positive way.
Lang said when it comes to talking about sex with your child or teenager it should not be just a one and done conversation anymore.
"We need short and sweet conversations throughout early childhood all the way into teenage years," said Lang.
Lang has been a sexual health educator for 20 years. Her professional clients include the U.S. Air Force Youth and Family Services, Boys and Girls Club, and numerous early childhood conferences and organizations.
"I think one of the things that most parents don't know is we have the most influence over our kids' sexual decision making up until they're about 14, and then their peers take over," said Lang.
That's why she said it's important to have age-appropriate conversations about sex with your child throughout their life.
“The way our culture is now, everybody, little kids, are getting exposed to all kinds of grown-up information about sex, and so it’s safer for them to hear it from you [the parents] and look to you as their resource,” explained Lang.
Lang also said staying "sex-positive," meaning talking about sex in a healthy, positive way and not making it taboo is extremely important for your child's sexual health.
“I believe as a mom, that my job is to help my child grow up to be a whole, healthy, happy adult and if you think about sex and sexuality in relationships, it is a huge part of our adult lives, and really, you know, our kid and teenage lives.”
Here are some of Lang's biggest myths about sex talks and also tips for parents.
Amy Lang's 3 biggest Myths That Get in the Way of the Sex Talks
MYTH #1 Your sweet child is “too young” to learn about sex.
MYTH #2 Whatever was “good enough” for you is good enough for your kid.
MYTH #3 When they are ready to know, your kid will ask about sex.
Amy Lang's 7 Tips to Make the Talks Rock
#1 The missing link. Understand why kids need to know about sex.
#2 Embrace “The Talk.” This your responsibility, whether you want the job or not.
#3 Relax and reflect. Disregard any discomfort and step up to support your children.
#4 Clarify your values. What you believe about anything and everything related to sex and sexuality.
#5 Get the facts. What they (and you) need to know at each age and stage.
#6 Initiate the conversations. Short and sweet conversations rule the day! Jump in and keep it short.
#7 Repeat. “The Talk” is dead. These conversations need to happen over and over.
You can learn more about Amy and her work at BirdsAndBeesAndKids.com.
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