WHATCOM COUNTY, Wash. — Nearly a year after the shooting that changed their lives, Deputies Ryan Rathbun and Jay Thompson are grateful to be back on the street.
"The support was overwhelming, highly motivating and therapeutic," said Rathbun. "To know there's that much love and support made it much easier to want to come back."
"The support is still coming in. Yesterday, I got a card from Ohio. Last week I got one from Florida and from Tennessee," added Thompson.
Rathbun and Thompson were both shot in the face with birdshot last February during a call about a drunken man firing recklessly on his property in rural Whatcom County.
Court documents state the alleged gunman shouted, "I don't care if you are cops, I'm going to blow your head off."
Despite rising violence against law enforcement, and reform laws that police say handcuff their ability to fight crime, the two deputies decided to go back on patrol, but not before facing some difficult questions.
"The question that kept coming up from my friends and family was whether I really wanted to go back and if I did, why would I do that," said Thompson, a 27-year law enforcement veteran.
"I had to ask myself if I was gonna decide to let that trauma dictate how I think, how I live, how I view myself," added Rathbun.
Deputy Rathbun nearly lost his left eye and still only has partial vision after enduring six surgeries.
Thompson suffered a traumatic brain injury and is undergoing therapy for PTSD.
But they say the darkest time came last March 15 -- barely a month into their recoveries.
It was the day Everett police officer Dan Rocha was killed in the line of duty just as Pierce County Deputy Dom Calata was being laid to rest after another fatal police shooting.
"That was a rough day," recalled Rathbun. "I was at Dom's funeral."
"It really comes down to that existential question, why me? Why do I get to stay and why does somebody else have to go? There is some survivor's guilt," said Thompson.
But the trauma has steeled the nerves of the two veteran law enforcement officers. Both say, despite the physical and emotional pain, they are better cops and better people.
They even go so far as to say getting shot in the face has made them more positive people.
"Yeah, I would say it's probably made me a little more positive and grateful for what I have," said Thompson. "The reaction from the community, there has been a lot of unforeseen positives."
"It has basically allowed me to spread that message of having a positive attitude and gratitude to people," said Rathbun. "That's the mindset it takes to survive this job."
The two deputies were best friends before the shootings, and while they're no longer partnered up, they are forever bonded by the badge and now by blood in a profession they would die for.
"When you go through this kind of trauma with somebody, there's a bond that will never go away," said Thompson.
"I got to come back home to my wife. Not everybody gets to do that," said Rathbun. "You can't keep me out of the job I love to do."
"Somebody has to do this job," added Thompson. "We need good people. I like to think we're two of them."
The accused shooter, Joel Young, faces two counts of first-degree attempted murder.
A tentative trial date is set for April 24.